The end of the road

Here I am, my final 24 hours in Canada.

It's difficult to sum up two and a half years. What I can say with certainty is that the journey I've been on is not the one I anticipated. I thought I'd learn some practical skills, do some travelling and then come home and get stuck back into life. But I feel so deeply changed by my time away. I feel happier, stronger and more comfortable in myself. I think about the nervous, slightly stressed and needy wwoofer I was when I started, and I'm comforted to see how laid back I've become and how little I worry about the things outside my control. I have no idea what my life will look like in a month's time, and I'm ok with that.

I've definitely learnt some useful practical skills. I can now split firewood; something I find incredibly empowering. I can milk cows, gut chickens, thin carrots and build a nice garden bed. But I've learnt a lot about communication and community too; the challenges and rewards of investing time and energy in those around me. I've stepped outside my comfort zone and done things I didn't think I was capable of, most memorably climbing mountains and sea kayaking, and loved every moment.

I've become more independent through having to cope with crises on my own, or without the strong support network I had in the UK. But I've also built strong friendships, and a new network of people around me in the Kootenays, and that's a very hard thing to leave behind. I love the physical place of the Slocan Valley, but it was the people that made it home.

So to the question of what next. How do I take the last 30 months and apply them to life in England. In short, I don't know. What I do know is that I want to work less, ideally 3 days a week so I can spend more time writing and growing food. I want to get out the city more and explore the UK better. I want to worry less about other people's expectations and make sure I make time for myself. I want to remember the last two and half years; not just the amazing times, but also the challenges and what I learnt about myself through that.

Here's to the next adventure...